The 3 Things You Didnt Know About Hockey Moms

By on July 31, 2016

Hockey Moms are the most dedicated, caring and loving Mothers around. At the same time, they are the most fearsome and terrifying Mothers around.  Someone once told me “never be afraid of another player on the ice, always be afraid of their Mother in the stands”. For anyone who has played the game at a competitive level, this quote should hit home. Anybody that has seen a Hockey Mom going into full ‘Beast Mode’ after her Son or Daughter has taken a cheap shot knows that you want to stay completely clear of the blast zone. Trust us, if you’re not careful the next thing you know you’ll be waking up in a hospital and the last thing you’ll remember will be a 40 year old lady blasting an air horn, swinging an oversized purse, and running at you on the ice at full charge. Moral of the story- there are many things that you didn’t know about Hockey Moms and here are a few of them.

  1. They can cook pasta better than the finest Italian chefs in the country – Any true Hockey Mom knows that the go-2 meal for a young aspiring hockey player is pasta. Game day is never complete without a meal of pasta. More specifically, no game day is complete without some Chicken Parmesan. The perfect balance of carbs, protein and essential fats. Over the years, they have spent hours upon hours perfecting their craft. Season after season their recipe only gets better and better. Long days spent watching every move of Rachel Ray and the Godfather of Italian cooking himself, Emeril Lagasse, have left each Hockey Mom their own unique recipe that can’t be duplicated. Ask any Junior Hockey Player, no matter how amazing your billets and no matter how hard they try, nothing can beat Mom’s game day pasta.
  2. They are a part time doctor and dentist – Hey, just because they have no formal training and have never gone to medical school doesn’t mean they can’t play the part. They have the most invaluable piece of knowledge and skill… they have practical on the job experience and skills. After you have just taken a stick to the mouth, she can successfully remove half the teeth in your lower jaw using only a bobby pin and one of her purse straps. A neighborhood road hockey battle has left you with a nasty gash on your leg, never fear you have a Hockey Mom. She takes out her sewing, kit gives you one of her old scrunchies from 1980s and tells you to bite down on it hard as she gives you some fresh zippers to close up that cut so you can get back out and play.
  3. They can go 12 rounds with the heavyweight champion of the World – As I stated earlier, someone once told me “Never be afraid of another player on the ice, always be afraid of their Mother in the stands”. You should never be afraid of the bear cub but always be afraid of Momma Bear. Years of watching fights, open ice hits, and the aftermath of an errant high stick have left Hockey Moms with a tough outer layer. Not only are they used to all the antics in the rinks but they are used to breaking up fights in the driveway and scraps on the backyard rink. They know how to handle themselves better than most linesmen when they have to break up a big tilt. By the end of it they are the ones dishing out the punishment. And when it comes to their little hockey player taking a cheap shot or gutty hit, they don’t care how big the other player is, they will go toe-2-toe for 12 rounds with any goon in the league.

This article, The 3 Things You Didnt Know About Hockey Moms, first appeared on Gongshow.

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